Because having regrets hurts....

Regret no.1
My aunt, who was diagnosed with advanced stage of oral cancer used to make frequent visits to the hospital, in Hyderabad. She used to stay for a couple of days at our home, after her chemo, sometimes. I never had much time to spend with her one on one but whenever we were together she used to advice me or compliment me and obviously always made me feel better.

Being diabetic, it was easier for Cancer to win over and her condition was only getting worse. So one evening, they had to make this quick trip to the doctor who said that there is nothing they could do to save her, anymore. When I saw her that evening lying on the bed lifeless....I just couldn't go and talk to her. I was just so scared ...she looked tiny,pale and almost dying ...she felt like someone I never knew and I just avoided talking to her telling myself that she is resting and shouldn't be disturbed. And more over she was so weak and for some reason I thought she could hear or understand me no more. I was just so scared ...I never saw someone so close to death and thinking about it still gives me goosebumps.

The next day, when I went to give her send off as she was going back to her home town....she looked at me and said in a low tone...to take care of myself and that I will do great in everything. My heart sank that moment....I still remember how guilty I felt for not talking to her the previous evening ...for not telling her what I thought of her..

Two days later, she slept to never wake up again and I have since then carried this guilt......

The regret of not telling someone why or how important they are in my life is something I cannot afford to live with.

Life is so short and regrets are something we can do without. Because they hurt like hell and I mean it.

Sent from my iPhone.

Team work

One of the million things they do before an effective drug is made and released.....working on this project 2 years ago was so much fun and stressful...............but the lesson I learnt and shall remeber all my life is 'Team Work'.

This project of developing an RXR antagonist in sybyl was something I had to do because I had to, to get the diploma in Bioinformatics. It was interesting and very excitinbg to use Sybyl a software not many get an access to. The minute details and the advancement of technology just leaves you baffled. But the downside of all this was...I was not motivated enough to learn what I needed( which I had no clue of) and the faculty did not help much either. Or may be we just were on different platforms and things never worked out, but nonethless there was one good thing that happened through  this project........


My best friend who survived me through each and every day of 3 years of undergrad, chose to push herself and pursue 1 year in bioinformatics too, together with me. No second guessing needed, she was with me in this project. The only thing we both had in common was, ' the desire to learn'. The positive or may be the negative side about me was, I am damn too dominating by nature. I need to do things my way because I do not trust others. I have to do it all by myself and wouldn't care who got the credit but the final result was to be immaculate and Perfect. And my friend, she was the kind, who would   obidently follow the tasks entrusted in her. Who would support me morally and who would also give the much needed criticism. She always let me be the one to decide who get's to do what......and then she made sure each one of us was doing it right and on time. This was like a silent deal we both made that always worked wonders, when it came to finishing projects on time and obviously the best of the kind in the class. (:~D Really! :~P)

2 years later, thinking all about it, I think.....this is what a team work basically is. A leader who breaks the project into different tasks and entrusts in his/her team mates. A team mate who trusts his/her leader loyally and fulfills the task and also the one who keeps a check on his/her leader, incase something is amiss/not right.

I have played my part of being a leader and also a team mate in various and different situations of life and all the credit shall go to Paddu!! She is the best friend, anyone could ever ask for.

P.S. : A leader is not superior to a team mate or vice versa...they are just different roles with different responsibilities with the same goalss and sometimes diffrent pay rates. - Archana (lol) 

Some mistakes are to be made twice...

to learn that one lesson right. 

Me Today

Eating - Lean cuisine sesame chicken pasta, rice-chicken, bluberries-cherries with lots of whipped cream!!
Trying - To be productive and get that damn capstone thing off my mind once and forever.
Feeling - I miss kali...I miss mummy..I miss daddy..i miss akka...I miss being with my family...I also miss him...but then it's okay to cry alone thinking of him...it just means I have a heart that has feelings...right? It is a good thing? May be ? Well..So yeah I am feeling confused & nostalgic. 
Wondering - that I have not been thinking of my goals, lately. :( 
Thinking - if silence can actually kill me? 
Wishing - I was not so dumb to be so expressive... inefficiently expressive :( 
Cleaning  - the broken glass.
Wanting  - absolutely nothing. :) 
Song of the day -Almost Lover-A fine frenzy. (<--ou wan-click on it, if you want to listen too!)
Quote of the day- Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life-Fine Frenzy-Almost lover.

Pulla abbai

More on 'Pulla abbai' (Stick Man)..............later.
But if you want to find out the odd man out...you are most welcome! No
prizes for guessing though.

Inbetween, if looking at pulla abbai gives you a headache...he was a
product of headache. What do you expect, huh?!

Face book

When I update something on FB..I assume each and everyone on my list reads/sees it..irrespective of their acknowledgment. #NOoooo. I am lying. It just feels weird ....and totally weird...when someone acknowledges about it in person to me, rather than at the time they have read/seen it. (<----I must confess, I do the same).
Facbeook is just stupid. I have always known this...but the only reason I have let myself get addicted to it over the past one year is for the simple reason of

--------> Getting over him. And what better way than to do something he forbid me to do...right?!

But I guess I was wrong..Facebook is just stupid. He was right. o__O

It just makes people feel lonelier and depressed if anything else.

Face book was never my favorite medium of commuincation though it surely has been the most easiest way of communication.
Hey wait!!! What is the definition of Communication??

Communication is the exchange and flow of information and ideas from one person to another; it involves a sender transmitting an idea, information, or feeling to a receiver (U.S. Army, 1983)

And what exactly am I doing in Face book??

--> Sharing my thoughts? if so, with whom?? I can never figure out the privacy settings of facebook and really have no freaking idea of who and who more can see something I post. But one thing that I am sure of is this, that it is visible to more people than I would want to be....just like the  many-many random updates of strangers (or friends of friends) I get, in my news feed.

-->Sending or receiving the right thoughts/feelings?? Misunderstandings between two individuals happen even when they are talking with one another directly, looking in the eyes...how can FB communication not be prone to high risk of misunderstandings?

-->Friends?? 10% of the people in my friends list are the people who I would really care to call my friends, whom I could call at any hour of the day/night. Why does the other 90% exist in the list...I have no clue and I am sure they don't either and even they would be asking the same question as to why I exist in their list at some point of time or the other.

-->Get stalked?? By a random stranger whom I add out of courtesy and who feels offended that I decided to deactivate my account and hence sends my sister a message saying..."She doesn't have to give a justification and blah blah blah"...as if I cheated on him??? What The HECK.....I am just a narcissist..talking about myself all the time on my FB and not for entertaining friends/family/strangers..but just for reasons of utter selfishness.

It's really funny that I am complaining about all this when I can just deactivate it and be happy & peaceful & most importantly do things I NEED TO AND LOVE TO.

Getting rid of FB addiction ain't easy...becuase I have tried it numerous times already and FAILED....but guess now is the right time for me to do something more productive...or atleast something that doesn't make me feel like being stalked by my very own people.

I am not going to get over FB in a day or a two...it's going to take time but some day soon, it shall not be a part of my everyday routine, anymore. I say, "I GOT THIS", As Robin in HIMYM would say and end this post here. But, if you are a FB addict like me or you once were..share your experiences..make me feel not so stupid and foolish to be going through this.

Thank you!!

All in a day's work: Sharing the experiences

My sis usually shares her experiences at work especially about the many interesting-inspiring [life] stories her patients at the rehab share with her. since a couple of weeks, our sharing-the-work-experiences have been like the following...

3 weeks ago
Sru: So, this week we had this patient named Mr. abc xyz.
me: Okay, so.
Sru: Well, he is still in the rehab.
me: And..?
Sru: will tell you later about him, I am tired.

2 weeks ago
Me: So how is that patient of yours doing?
Sru: Mr. abc xyz?
Me: Yes.
Sru: He joined the rehab couple of days ago
Me: And??
Sru: And he still us.

1 week ago
Me: Are you going to tell me about Mr. abc xyz??
Sru: Oh!! Mr. abc xyz??
Me: Yesssssss....
Sru: He joined the rehab a couple of days ago and he is still with us.

Today
Me: So how did your meeting go, today?
Sru: Oh meeting?
Me: Yes.
Sru: It was good. We talked about this Mr. Lmn pqr...
Me: Who joined the rehab couple of days ago and he is still in the rehab?
Sru: Yesssss.

I think she is just trying to play my 'tit-for-tat' role for the various ways I irritate her every day...lol

I love you Akkaaaaaaaaaaaa.... :~*

A new day...

and a new journey it shall be...
what is meant to be shall be and what is not meant to be, shall not be.

Fate is all I shall believe in, hoping it leads me to where my heart-soul-mind can rest in peace and be truly happy ever after .

Do penguins pee??

Do penguins pee??

This was such an honest, sincere and curious question that was bugging me since morning. The reason for this absurd interest was due to infliction of distress by me getting "pissimized".

_______________________________________________________

Pissimized is the term I have invented today, (Yup! My moment of Eureka! :D) to describe the trauma caused by the side effects of overdose of H₂O. Nope, I am not going to explain the symptoms & treatment & blah blah but trust me, the only way you can truly understand what I exactly mean is by drinking water until you know that a drop more is enough to burst open your stomach.  

Actually, I bit a serrano pepper last night (they are not supposed to be hot..right?)..but this damn little pepper was so hot so hot so hot so hot that I thought I was going to die.......and then I drank so much, so much and so much of water that I would have usually drank in a weeks time, to get rid of the burning sensation. Damn...I am not really going to describe the 10 minute ordeal I dealt..NOW ;)

______________________________________________________

Sru was pissed off with my numerous pizzimized imessags that she pretended to not recieve any of them and I was left clueless to find out if/how Penguins pee.

Thanks to google that doesn't get pissed off with stupid people like me and here is the answer according to Wiki answers : Penguins, like most other birds have cloca at the end of their intestinal tract and expels it when it is convienetnt to do so. Also, birds do not excrete solid waste and liquid waste seperatly but is collected and mixed in the cloca before it is excreted. The most interesting fact about Penguin pee is that they do not produce any waste when they gather on land to raise their babies becuase they do not eat or drink anything but just live off the energy they obtain by metabolizing their body fat. 

Now that was a question worth asking and an answer worth knowing...especially for someone like me who dreams day and night, about going to Antarctica to look at the penguins!!

;) Good night!

Color color what color your eye color ??

Do tell me what color your eyes are and you favorite eye color! 

Have a happy Sunday!!