winning vs. losing vs. being successful

If you win, you get what you want.
If you are successful, you get what you need.
If you lose something, it creates the possibilty of gaining something you need/want or both.

Basically, there is nothing in life that is actually meant to beat you down unless you want it to. :D

I wish...

...I  am right.

There are always two ways to get things done. The easy way and the hard way. I was taught to do things the right way which is often not the easy way out. I may look stupid and over aimbitious right now....but someday I will look back at everthing I have choosen to do in life and not be dissappointed because it is going to lead me exactly to the spot I have wished for. 

Things that really matter: 2

Hey Blog!

Guess What?!! 

Dad's Report: As I promised, here goes the update on Dad's health checkup!! :)

It did come negative!!There is no malignant tumor but he might probably need to get a surgery done some time soon for a condition that is common to  men of his age(more on it in future vlog). Well, the fact that he might need a surgery and all is scaring. But I am super glad it's not life threatening. The word biopsy itself has been giving me mini heart attacks, each time I thought about it for the last one week. But for now, I can relax and hope-wish-pray that everything will be fine and that I could be there for him to make sure he gets the best care possible.

School Work: Still working on my paper!! :)

So the paper I have been working on all these months, is not what exactly what my prof. thinks is okay. He wanted me to get more statistics so as to analyze and write up more interesting stuff. The approach I took to write the paper and the one he thinks I should are extremely different. And needless to say, I am so in love with whatever he is making me do! It is like that little push to the limit and showing someone that they are worth more than they ever thought they were! 

Today, I was wondering may be this is also the reason why God doesn't give me what I ask him for. May be just like my Prof, he thinks I deserve more and is making sure that I do enough so that he could give me what I exactly deserve and nothing less. 

Break up in a Retrospect: Sometimes, there is a greater gain in losing! :)

I have been thinking of how things could have worked out but did not with Teja. It's been like almost a year and a half since it was all over, well at least for one of us. Though I made so much fuss and post break up drama and all, I now feel that 'losing him in my life' was the best thing to ever happen.  Not that I no longer consider him to be the most smartest/nicest/greatest/coolest/affectionate friend and a bf. But, the situations we both had to face and the lessons we in turn had to learn resulting in we both no longer being the same people we once were...moving on was probably the best decision ever. Being happy alone is always better than being unhappy together, right?? More than his love for me his indifference towards me brought the best out in me and I will always be grateful for his bitter-sweet role in my life.

Job: I need one. I want one. Blah blah and blah. :( But I shall be +ve cause I know I am going to get what I deserve sooner or later! :)

When I write something: I mean every single word of it. I do not and cannot make up my feelings.  :)

So when, someone tells me I write good/whatever and that they want me to write something so that they could use for something ...I just can't do that. I believe, you, me and each one of us.....can truly & honestly express in writing if we are willing to get over the inhibitions of what he/she/they might think. And, when you can be honest in your expression of your thoughts...it's quite liberating and relaxing.

Probably that's the very reason blogging means so much to me! 

<3 

Archana

Things that really matter...

Heyllo Blog! What's up!?
Long due since we had a one on one chat and here it is.... :)

As you know, life is at that point of bitter-sweet phase, making it impossible for me to decide whether I should be happy/sad.

Talking about School,  things are going not so great. I did submit my final draft capstone project. Yup! The one I need to submit, to be done with my masters course. But :( my prof. said I would have to get some more statistical data to make it stronger as it was not.  He did suggest me some ideas on what I could do. I am working on it now adn I hope I can gather the information needed before I meet him next tuseday. With fingers crossed, all I can now hope is, it will all be done as early as possible because I so want to be done with my masters.

Talking about Career plans, there really seems nothing positive in store for me. :( Maybe, it's the ecoomy or maybe it has something to do with me being on F1 visa. Whatever it is, I feel terribly sad that the field I am so in love with does not have the same for me. Well, not that I am the best EHS professional avialable on the plant in the...but asking for an oppurtunity to give my best is not too much, right?? But, lets stay positive and hope the best,wishing for a miracle to happen in a week if not, I will be offically unemployed.

Talking about home, I am very apprehensive about dad's health check up and futher biopsy tests being done and stuff. Though, I am 200% positve that everything is going to be normal, I feel like a mini heart attack occuring in my tiny weenie heart each time I thhink about it. A day or two the results will be out and I am waiting for the moment I can say out aloud with a sigh that, 'I knew it was going to be normal.' And also seeing some one who deserves the best of the best dealing with a worst of the worst situation is not fun either. Again, lets hope for the best and believe god has GOOD and only GOOD in store for good people!

Talking about staying in Findlay, it's fun and not so fun. Feel's stange that I'm staying in findlay exactly during this time of the month and year, which marks exaclty a year since Mukesh's death and the life changing consequences I went through. Do I miss him? Yes I do.More so, especially when I realize how few are the people around me, who are passioante and devoted to their dreams & life. To know that one of those rare personalities, who I would have loved to call my best friend is'nt around, iss  :(.

As strange as it may sound, coincidently I happend to go to the Sunday service today for the first time in USA. I had been planning to go since a long time but it never materialzed until today. Whole time during the service, I was thinking about Mukesh and dare I say felt his presence sometimes.(yeah..too much of watching Long isalnd medium or may be just feeling the +ve energy sent by our loved ones from up above as I would belive). Well, whatever it was, I miss him...and feel sad that someone like him had so less time in a world which needed more people like him. Anyways, later in the evening, I realized that today marked the 1 year anniversary since Mukesh's funeral service was held.

Exaclty a year ago, I was working hard so that I could do what could be done for him to be in pecace and now I am all focused on myself and on sorting out my own problems. But I know I am not alone, dealing with any of my issues...the support and love I am getting from people(here and up above) who truly care for me ...it helps me to keep going.

I hope the next time I blog, I will have a ton of good news to share with you, dear bloggie!

Love you,
Archana

Thank you China!

Dear workers, 

Most people complain of cheap labor and all. But I think you guys are amazing; hard working and super skilled. Thanks for all the hours you put in to make beautiful things affordable to most of us around the world.

 P.S.

I only wish for the economy of the whole world to improve, in such a way that talent and hardwork is never gone unappreciated/underpaid.

Is it really that hard for us to implement a plan/whatever to improve the world economy and preserve earth's resources at once?? Don't we belong to the planet that dreams big and makes it a reality too!?

The only reason I would not support buying china made products is because of the way the workers are exploited which is outrageous. If you want to know more about this, click here-->Inside China's Slave Labor Toy Factories

Maybe this christmas, every child who gets a gift made in China will also be taught to value and appreciate hardwork.

late night thoughts...

I want to complain, that life sucks and is mean but I know people who have been treated much worse and unfair by it and yet still embrace it wholeheartedly. Kali being one such person. 

sometimes you need to put on a strong face, though the world you have built in your dreams is shattering into a thousand pieces....b'cause the braveness in your attitude is going to inspire the people around you and in turn inspire you to believe 'everything is going to be okay'.

Put on a bold face...face the world...

If you offer, the best of yourself to  the world, the world in turn offers the best of itself.

I believe that when god sent us  all to have a life, here in the world. He promised, we shall have a life full of experiences with peace and happiness being the ultimate destination. Now, asking for the journey to be happy and peaceful all along, is asking too much. Right?

I am not scared of what might happen if I do not get a job. I am scared of what all might not happen if I don't get one. :(

See? I am not scared of facing disappointments. I am scared of ending up somewhere I did not plan to and them saying..'you took the road less travelled. What else do you expect?'. 

 maybe.....god is letting me go through all this because he believes I am strong enough to face it and still be happy...maybe he just wants me to prove to people in a situation like me that ..'you haven't lost until you have given up'.

 Is A year and a half, enough time to get over some one you planned to spend the rest of your life with ? Or is it a long-long-long time to be wasted in thinking about someone who did not give a damn about you being dead or alive? 

why worry as if my worries are eternal? When any-day could be my last one. 

Ps: it all started with a single thought

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