Day 11 to 15: Changes

Hey,

Remember my first post on Lent, when I wrote a list of rules to follow for Lent and said at the end of the list that "Probably I might keep adding or modifying the above list! " Yup, I have decided to make some changes. 

At first I thought I shall give up this whole Lent idea because I failed at keeping my commitment. But on further thought I realised, 'we do not have to be perfect at everything we do. Achieving ones goals is the first best thing and the next best thing is to 1. not giving up in despair, 2. Be willing to change for better and 3. Be committed to gain perfection.'

• Eat in moderation. ( not yet broken...I guess ;) )

• No meat on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. (not yet broken!!)

• Fast on Wednesday, Friday and Monday. (Broke this rule this week! ....Hey I can justify though. Fasting is kind of making me sick. Moreover I have tired hard to habituate myself with good (and consistent) eating habits since an year and I do not want my new fasting habits to affect my recently developed healthy eating habits. )   

• Pray everyday. ( informal praying counts too, right? Like the conversations in the head with god? )

• Read bible and Bhagavad Gita. (Read 4.37% of Bible and 4.09% of Gita)

• Exercise at least for an hour. Regular exercise. ( Not exercising everyday, maybe it is a good idea to change this goal to something more achievable.)

• No Facebook. Minimum Facebook usage. (I broke this rule. I had to log in. I had to see if anyone missed me or not. I had to be available for friends, in case they needed me. Excuses apart, I need to cut down my FB time significantly. Phones or direct conversations with friends are still the best way of communication.)

• Blog everyday about something positive. Blog as often as I can.  (Everyday blogging is sort of tough. Mainly because I am not in the best of my moods these days and it is very difficult to blog positive when I am stuck in a rut. So I will just make sure to write (+ve) when ever I can.)

• Stay calm & positive, do not argue and learn to forgive others and yourself. ( I try to remind myself of this rule again and again. It will be a while before I can incorporate it in my life.)

• Sleep early and wake up early. SLEEP EARLY. WAKE UP EARLY. ( Got to follow this simple rule. No excuses can justify for breaking this simple rule. )

Love,

Archana

Happy me !

The freedom to pursue the desires of heart and goals of mind, gives a power from with in. The power to create a positive state of mind, that let's one be happy and a bit less scared of the unknown future.

We are all given the freedom to follow our hearts.  But some of us do not even attempt to use it and instead assume our happiness lies at the mercy of others. It doesn't. 

When we follow our hearts, we end up being genuinely happy, irrespective of the failures/disappointments we face. 

PS: 
1. 'My duty is to my heart.' -Quote from the Move Mulan.

2. Wish the 25 year old me had told this to the 22 year old me. 

hopeless dreamer, cheesy one liners and other things

*****

If you have already read my previous post, 'mornings and mournings' you might have guessed by now that I was not selected in the interview I attended a couple of weeks ago. I did feel disappointed, but frankly the disappointment did not last as long as I thought it would. I actually gave my best in the interview and maybe that's the reason I do not feel sad for not being selected. If I had not given my best, then the guilty feeling of,'I could have done better but I did not' would have haunted me for a longer time. Well, whatever.....the bottom line is: I am back to square one...left with a blank paper....to start over ...and I am absolutely tired of this wild goose chase. 
But life taught me first hand that persistence wins, sooner or later. Actually, Bryan did. His so called 'boot camp', prepared me for more than what he imagined I guess. Now, I just feel too stubborn to give up on a dream. If I was not me, and I was a third person looking at my own life...I would never suggest to give up trying. So, I need to follow the same advice for myself, isn't it? 
Anyways, there is no way I will give up trying, when I know deep in my heart that I would only regret for doing so in the future. I just need to pursue this wild goose chase with hopes that every dream comes true, if one tries hard enough. 

*****

Doodlebook app that I downloaded for free in my Iphone has been my new addiction these days. Not that I am a good artist or anything....but somehow doodling seems to be relaxing. I drew the following doodle yesterday. It is supposed to be a rat flirting with cheese. But there can be various versions to this little stupid doodle, like:

A fish like you is every fisherman's dream.
A ham like you is every hamburger's dream.
A house like you is every homeless person's dream.
A job like you is every unemployed person's dream.
A colour like you is every colour pencil's dream.
blah blah....not that funny right....But a Cheesy one liner it is...since it's literally based on cheese. ;~)

*****

I need to do laundry. The interesting thing about doing laundry is absolutely NOTHING. Nothing in the world depresses me more than the task of doing laundry. :~( Also, it's been more than 24 hours since I slept....So having to do laundry when I am actually feeling like a ZOMBIE....ha.....life's little unwanted pains pleasures.
But seriously, if god grants me a wish and asks me to choose between a) A dress that turns into a new dress each time I wash or b) A dress that remains the same and fresh through out my life time, without wahsing...my choice would be b b b b b b and only b. 

                                                                             *****

From me to her

*****

*****

Sometimes I wish the older me had the means to convey the younger me a few suggestions that could have made my life easier. Like the following :

The knowledge that not everybody is fair in this world and to expect them to be fair is unfair.

Some want to play by the rules and for some to not play by the rules is the only rule to be followed. 

Money is not everything but it sure is essential to make the right things happen.

If being in love with someone does not make you/him/her a better person, it is not love.

If you can not be happy with yourself, there is no way someone else can make you happy.

However good or bad the idea sounds, sleep on it before any hasty life-altering-decision is made. 

There are more than a billion hearts in this world praying any given moment to have a life like yours. Be thankful for what you have.

Hard-work and honesty may not give you outright results but they are worth incorporating in life. 

Whenever you feel like giving up, remember why you ever  thought it was a good idea. Maybe it is worth pursuing and just needs a bit more effort than you first thought. 

You can be your biggest critic but only if you are capable of appreciating yourself whenever you do something right.

You can be wrong and make mistakes but remember to make every effort to correct it and never make the same mistake twice.

Every lesson that life teaches you is a reason for you to believe that god loves you and wants you to have the most fulfilling life. 

As you grow old, you may not want to trust everybody or even forget to love unconditionally.....that doesn't make you a bad or evil person...don't blame yourself.

 It's okay to not be perfect. 

Sometimes you want to cry for no reason. It's okay to cry.

Some of the vital lessons in life can be learnt from others experiences. 

If you want to do something do it as long as it hurts none and is morally right.

You like it or not, you have to make a choice between two evils. 

Learn to Let go.

 Being Respected is more valuable than being loved.

Nothing breaks a heart like a broken promise does.

Falling in love with someone who isn't trustworthy or respects you, is impossible.

*****

*****

Sent from my iPhone

Choices

I believe that the choices we take, make us the person we are. There is never a situation or an issue in life that doesn't present itself without options. But yet, we let ourselves assume that we have been helplessly put in a situation that we did not wanted to be in. Because, as humans we always tend to find excuses....excuses to blame someone/something other than ourselves as we are afraid of losing.

There is a very thin line between winning and losing. Wining is also not giving up your sincere attempts on reaching your goals and losing is just giving up hope. Once we realize this simple truth, we no longer are afraid of failing and no longer in search of excuses. If we can truly believe in that one dream that's close to our heart and put in all the right efforts to make it true, it's going to come true. All, we got to do is believe, be brave and not give up.

When you lose something that meant everything to you...it gives you a power...a power that gives you the courage to start over all over again, this time without the fear of falling down. For reasons good or bad, my life so far, has taught me that there is nothing I could lose without gaining something else. And that there is nothing I could gain with the fear of losing. 

Choices are just that.....an opportunity that gets you to the point, where life either offers you what you wanted or what you needed. It's just a win-win situation, all the time. But I hated making choices, since I was a kid. It all started with a candy/cookie, coke/Pepsi, movie/music, science/maths, arranged marriage/love marriage and so on. It wasn't easy to decide but again it din't really matter much until I realized how each of this little choice I made, ended up making me the person I am.  And once I got aware of the fact that the choices I made, gave me my unique identity it just got terribly difficult to make one....especially when life started to offer those serious options like  masters/job, India/US, career/love, career/dreams and so on........which would ultimately shape not just me as a person but the life I have to live.

I unlike most people chose what I loved to do and not what practically seemed sensible. I almost had everything figured out and then I chose to leave everything behind and start afresh. It could have been the most stupid decision of my life....but maybe this is what I truly want to do in life...face my fears and having that dream, is just like having that tiny speck of light at the end of the tunnel. It's going through this tunnel that really matters and I am going to not give up this path  I chose for myself. Most importantly, I have to stop finding excuses for taking choices that put me at this phase of life where in, facing my fears is inevitable instead of one that offered a secured-constant-easy life.

And if you are wondering what my fears are....it is the fear of Uncertainty.

The uncertainty of finding true love, the uncertainty of believing in true love, the uncertainty of finding a career I love, the uncertainty of fulfilling my goal and so on................And the only way to get over it is by taking choices that exposes me to uncertainty that is for certain. :)

PS: 


Make a choice and pursue it, embracing fully and acknowledging freely the uncertainty that surrounds it.-Joel Bryant, contemporary African-American Christian life coach


It's raining and what else could be the right time to introspect?  :) 

You can share with me what your fears are, if any?