Face book

When I update something on FB..I assume each and everyone on my list reads/sees it..irrespective of their acknowledgment. #NOoooo. I am lying. It just feels weird ....and totally weird...when someone acknowledges about it in person to me, rather than at the time they have read/seen it. (<----I must confess, I do the same).
Facbeook is just stupid. I have always known this...but the only reason I have let myself get addicted to it over the past one year is for the simple reason of

--------> Getting over him. And what better way than to do something he forbid me to do...right?!

But I guess I was wrong..Facebook is just stupid. He was right. o__O

It just makes people feel lonelier and depressed if anything else.

Face book was never my favorite medium of commuincation though it surely has been the most easiest way of communication.
Hey wait!!! What is the definition of Communication??

Communication is the exchange and flow of information and ideas from one person to another; it involves a sender transmitting an idea, information, or feeling to a receiver (U.S. Army, 1983)

And what exactly am I doing in Face book??

--> Sharing my thoughts? if so, with whom?? I can never figure out the privacy settings of facebook and really have no freaking idea of who and who more can see something I post. But one thing that I am sure of is this, that it is visible to more people than I would want to be....just like the  many-many random updates of strangers (or friends of friends) I get, in my news feed.

-->Sending or receiving the right thoughts/feelings?? Misunderstandings between two individuals happen even when they are talking with one another directly, looking in the eyes...how can FB communication not be prone to high risk of misunderstandings?

-->Friends?? 10% of the people in my friends list are the people who I would really care to call my friends, whom I could call at any hour of the day/night. Why does the other 90% exist in the list...I have no clue and I am sure they don't either and even they would be asking the same question as to why I exist in their list at some point of time or the other.

-->Get stalked?? By a random stranger whom I add out of courtesy and who feels offended that I decided to deactivate my account and hence sends my sister a message saying..."She doesn't have to give a justification and blah blah blah"...as if I cheated on him??? What The HECK.....I am just a narcissist..talking about myself all the time on my FB and not for entertaining friends/family/strangers..but just for reasons of utter selfishness.

It's really funny that I am complaining about all this when I can just deactivate it and be happy & peaceful & most importantly do things I NEED TO AND LOVE TO.

Getting rid of FB addiction ain't easy...becuase I have tried it numerous times already and FAILED....but guess now is the right time for me to do something more productive...or atleast something that doesn't make me feel like being stalked by my very own people.

I am not going to get over FB in a day or a two...it's going to take time but some day soon, it shall not be a part of my everyday routine, anymore. I say, "I GOT THIS", As Robin in HIMYM would say and end this post here. But, if you are a FB addict like me or you once were..share your experiences..make me feel not so stupid and foolish to be going through this.

Thank you!!

Rajiv and Aarathi-A story of Love.

30 Seconds since the truck hit Rajiv’s bike and sped away. 

The driver of the truck was too drunk to even realize what he just did to 26 year old Rajiv. 

Rajiv laid there in the chilling cold, with his head on the divider of NH9. He tried hard to push the bike that was crushing his already broken left leg, with his right hand. The pain he felt in his back and the left limbs was far more excruciating than he could endure. He wished either for the pain or his life to end at that very moment. But the warm blood that was oozing from his forehead flowing down his left cheek and neck reminded him ofAarthi’s cold fingers and her warm embrace.

It has been exactly a year since he last saw Aarthi on 06/06/07, the day he noted down as the most painful day in his life in the dairy which he started writing since that day.

It was 10 minutes past 5.00pm when he saw Aarthi sitting at the corner table of their favorite restaurant. As always Aarthi reached before him. How much ever Rajiv tried he always got late and She was always before time. 

As Rajiv lay on the hard concrete road, staring into the dawn sky at the fading stars, he remembered the gleaming eyes of Aarthi. Her eyes always got brighter when he was with her. He had no doubts on the fact that she was madly in love with him. So was he, but he never could dare to tell her his feelings. Not that he was afraid of rejection. He knew that Aarthi was longing to hear what she already told him. But he did not want to commit himself in a lifelong relationship when he himself was depending on his parents for all his financial needs. Just a few more days and I will propose her he kept telling himself since the day Aarthi proposed him a year ago on 06/06/06.

Aarthi was excited to see Rajiv. She was about to tell Rajiv that it was exactly a year since she proposed him and exactly 2 years since they first met when Rajiv said, “I need time to settle first, Career is important everything else can wait. Forget me please.” It came as a shock to Aarthi that Rajiv still could not respect her feelings. After a long conversation which eventually ended in a heated argument, both left their favorite restaurant andparted their ways.

Rajiv could not see the tears in Aarthi’s eyes that she held back while she said a‘Good Bye’ with a smile on her face. If Rajiv turned back and looked at Aarthi he would have seen her looking at him with longing eyes with tears rolling down her cheeks. But that evening he did not look back, even though he longed to hug Aarthi and assure her that it will not be long before they would be back together again.

Aarthi kept calling Rajiv for the months that followed. But Rajiv bluntly refused her every call. And each time he avoided her call it broke his heart. But he really wanted time for himself and for Aarthi to choose the paths best for them. As days passed the frequency with which Aarthi called Rajiv reduced. And 6 months after their break up, Aarthi never called Rajiv again. Rajiv very much missed Aarthi and he many a times thought of getting back to her. But his determination to succeed in his life held him back from going back to her.

On 07/06/08, at 5.10 p.m Rajiv received a call on his phone. It was the HR of the company of his dreams who told him the good news he was yearning to hear for so long. He finally got his dream job. The first person he wanted to share the news was Aarthi and he immediately dialed her number. After an hour and still not being able to reach her or any of their common friends, Rajiv decided to go to Aarthi’s place. Not finding any means of transport he took his bike and started for her place at 11.00pm on the NH9 the very road on which they both together used to go for long drives.  

Rajiv was about to reach Aarthi’s place in about 30minutes when he met with an accident. Even after30 minutes after the fatal accident, Rajiv laid there with blood still oozing from his head. Rajiv did not know if he was hallucinating or if Aarthi was really beside him with tears in her eyes as she wiped the blood off his face with her cold fingers.  Rajiv said “I am sorry Aarthi” as he closed his eyes to never open again.

It was at 5.45 A.m in the morning when Dr.Parvesh, driving a Car on the NH9 noticed a man lying in a pool of blood. Dr.Parvesh realized it was too late and that the young man died of excess bleeding. When Dr.Parvesh looked at the face of the dead young man, he was reminded of his daughter who committed suicide 6 months ago. When he saw the Diary of Rajiv beside his bike and a picture of Aarthi and Rajiv in it, he looked at the sky and burst out crying looking at the only star that was still blinking. He now understood why his sensitive dear daughter left him.

                                       *****

#What if Rajiv turned back and looked at Aarthi for one last time on 06/06/07, maybe Rajiv would have reconsidered his decision.

#What if Rajiv would have accepted Aarthi's call at least once, maybe Rajiv would have reconsidered his decision.

#What if Rajiv had known that Aarthi died 6 months ago, maybe he would have killed himself too.

#What if the truck driver was not drunk, the accident might not have happened at all.

#What if Dr.Parvesh did not travel NH9 to attend an emergency case he might not have never known the reason behind his daughter’s death.

                                            *****

P.S.

# Thank you Mommy!!! For the idea and all the encouragement and for all the CRITICISM!!

# Thankyou  Tavish! Somehow your post on 30 seconds late inspired me to write up this story!