It was dark and lonely. I was on my way to the railway station. I was carrying a hand bag with one hand and my baby with the other. I was out of breath and wanted to stop and take a deep breath, but one glimpse at my baby made me realize I had no time to waste. Every second was precious. I had to be at the railway station by now. I was walking as fast as I could. I knew I was running late and was super worried that I might miss the train. Catching this train was important.
I was frightened to even imagine the consequences of missing this train. By all means, I had to reach 'that place' by tomorrow morning. If I miss the train tonight, I would be devastated. If not for myself, I had to do this for this child's future that I was responsible for. With great determination, I kept walking and did not stop until I reached the railway station.
I was frightened to even imagine the consequences of missing this train. By all means, I had to reach 'that place' by tomorrow morning. If I miss the train tonight, I would be devastated. If not for myself, I had to do this for this child's future that I was responsible for. With great determination, I kept walking and did not stop until I reached the railway station.
***
On reaching the railway station, I saw that the train I had to board was ready to departure in a couple of minutes. I smiled big and was happy that I made it on time.
But my happiness lasted only a few seconds. I quickly learnt I needed to have a ticket to access the platform. It came as a shock to me since I had the tickets to board the train already which I thought was all I needed. I was afraid I would end up missing the train, even after reaching the station on time and even after having the tickets to board the train, just because I did not have the ticket that gave me access to use the platform.
But my happiness lasted only a few seconds. I quickly learnt I needed to have a ticket to access the platform. It came as a shock to me since I had the tickets to board the train already which I thought was all I needed. I was afraid I would end up missing the train, even after reaching the station on time and even after having the tickets to board the train, just because I did not have the ticket that gave me access to use the platform.
***
I hurried towards the ticket counter at the railway station to purchase the platform tickets.
Every second was crucial. I could not afford to miss this train.
Every second was crucial. I could not afford to miss this train.
On reaching the ticket counter, I asked the cashier/whoever,
'Could you please give me two platform tickets?'.
'Could you please give me two platform tickets?'.
'20 rupees.' He said.
'I have $120. I do not have any Indian currency. I am already late. Could you please take this and give me the tickets. Please.' I requested him trying hard and barely successful in hiding my fear.
'20 rupees. If not we can't give you the platform tickets.' He said in a very firm voice.
***
Realizing that there is no point in requesting the cashier, I wondered what I could do to purchase these tickets.
I endured much to be at this place at this moment and I could not give up the fight yet. I had no time to waste and thought hard for a moment. On looking around and seeing so many people/passengers in the station, it occurred to me that at least one among them could help me out. Putting aside all my inhibitions and the feeling of embarrassment; I gripped my bag which seemed to be a lot more heavier than before and held my baby close to me in my arm and held $120 in one of my hand.
I asked everyone that I saw if they could give me 20 rupees and take the $ instead. No body was willing to help. I did not know why. The value of $120 that I was willing to give them was a couple of thousand times greater than the 20 rupees I asked them for return. Baffled and totally in despair, I took deep breaths that threatened to end up in sobs.
I felt someones hand on my shoulder from behind. Alarmed, I turned around slowly to see who it was.
'Here take it.' Said a stranger handing me a 20 rupee bill.
I felt a heavy weight lifted off my heart. I instantly grabbed the 20 rupees that this guy was holding out for me and offered him the $120 in return.
'No need for that. Hurry up. You don't want to miss the train.' He said in a very calm voice.
I hurried towards the tickets counter and did not even remember if I thanked that stranger. I bought two platform tickets. I started running towards the platform where the train stood.
I realized I was only a couple of seconds away from boarding the train. By morning I would be reaching the place where I could be safe and at peace. All the struggle I endured for the past few years was going to end in a couple of seconds. I was ecstatic and scared at the same time and ran towards the train.
I was 10 steps away from the train, when I saw the train moving. I was scared at first but then I realized it is not time yet for the train to departure. I had enough time to board. I was not going to miss it. I was about two steps away from the train when I realized the train picked up great speed.
"It is not time yet to departure, it is going to stop. I can board." I told my self again and again.
The train did not stop and my heart was racing. I started to run along with the train. If the train was not going to stop, I planned to get on a moving train. It's not safe but I had to do it, I told myself. I had to get on this train and I was going to, at any cost.
But the train zoomed away, right in front of my eyes and in a couple of seconds it was out of my sight.
I was overwhelmed.
I looked around and there was noone. I was all alone, with a baby in my arm and a heavy bag, in a place that was dark, gloomy and deserted.
I fell to the ground holding my baby tight. It was devastating to miss the train even after so many efforts. It was my only chance. I need to be at that place by morning. I needed to do this for my child. I cried out loud and could not stop and did not even wanted to stop crying.
A couple of minutes later, like a flash I had an enlightenment that I could still catch the bus if I could hurry. I could catch the bus tonight and reach 'that place' by morning.
I wiped my tears, held my baby in my arm and gripped the bag again. I needed to be at 'that place' and it did not matter how I reached the destination.
PS:
1. This is not a story that I made up. This is a dream that my mind made up as I was sleeping.
2. I woke up from my sleep telling myself, 'I can still catch the bus.'
3. My brain works really hard to impress me when I am asleep by making up 'entertaining-drama-filled-adventurous' dreams.
4. Dream interpretation (at least according to me) :
bag = baggage = the burden of past mistakes
child = baby = one's dreams/goals
that place = final destination /place where one yearns and dreams to be at
train/bus = the journey we take to reach the destination
5. I missed the train. I am catching the bus.
I endured much to be at this place at this moment and I could not give up the fight yet. I had no time to waste and thought hard for a moment. On looking around and seeing so many people/passengers in the station, it occurred to me that at least one among them could help me out. Putting aside all my inhibitions and the feeling of embarrassment; I gripped my bag which seemed to be a lot more heavier than before and held my baby close to me in my arm and held $120 in one of my hand.
I asked everyone that I saw if they could give me 20 rupees and take the $ instead. No body was willing to help. I did not know why. The value of $120 that I was willing to give them was a couple of thousand times greater than the 20 rupees I asked them for return. Baffled and totally in despair, I took deep breaths that threatened to end up in sobs.
***
I felt someones hand on my shoulder from behind. Alarmed, I turned around slowly to see who it was.
'Here take it.' Said a stranger handing me a 20 rupee bill.
I felt a heavy weight lifted off my heart. I instantly grabbed the 20 rupees that this guy was holding out for me and offered him the $120 in return.
'No need for that. Hurry up. You don't want to miss the train.' He said in a very calm voice.
***
I hurried towards the tickets counter and did not even remember if I thanked that stranger. I bought two platform tickets. I started running towards the platform where the train stood.
I realized I was only a couple of seconds away from boarding the train. By morning I would be reaching the place where I could be safe and at peace. All the struggle I endured for the past few years was going to end in a couple of seconds. I was ecstatic and scared at the same time and ran towards the train.
***
"It is not time yet to departure, it is going to stop. I can board." I told my self again and again.
The train did not stop and my heart was racing. I started to run along with the train. If the train was not going to stop, I planned to get on a moving train. It's not safe but I had to do it, I told myself. I had to get on this train and I was going to, at any cost.
But the train zoomed away, right in front of my eyes and in a couple of seconds it was out of my sight.
***
I was dumbfounded.
I was in a state of disbelief.
I fell to the ground holding my baby tight. It was devastating to miss the train even after so many efforts. It was my only chance. I need to be at that place by morning. I needed to do this for my child. I cried out loud and could not stop and did not even wanted to stop crying.
***
I wiped my tears, held my baby in my arm and gripped the bag again. I needed to be at 'that place' and it did not matter how I reached the destination.
***
PS:
1. This is not a story that I made up. This is a dream that my mind made up as I was sleeping.
2. I woke up from my sleep telling myself, 'I can still catch the bus.'
3. My brain works really hard to impress me when I am asleep by making up 'entertaining-drama-filled-adventurous' dreams.
4. Dream interpretation (at least according to me) :
bag = baggage = the burden of past mistakes
child = baby = one's dreams/goals
that place = final destination /place where one yearns and dreams to be at
train/bus = the journey we take to reach the destination
5. I missed the train. I am catching the bus.
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